His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
