it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
