How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
