Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
