That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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