sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
