Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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