Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize