i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
