Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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