I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
