Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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