you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
