Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
should my penis look like a turkey
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
