hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
