Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
