He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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