So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
