That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
