Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize