just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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