Sponge bath it is.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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