ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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