I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
