Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
