I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize