I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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