I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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