They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
