You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am one with the molecules
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
