Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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