like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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