I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
