Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
