sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
