He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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