i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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