her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
