That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
