so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
