Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
