its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And then my night got REAL pukey
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
