i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize