I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
