Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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