Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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