it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
