your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
