Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
