how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
