Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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