Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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