Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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