ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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