I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
