Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
