when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
